jingle bells

it has almost come to the end of December baby! one of my favorite festive season is approaching :) although i'm not a Christian, but i still love celebrating X'mas! i remember when i was still a little girl, daddy asked me to put my small tiny socks beside my bed so that Santa will stuff the socks with presents. the next day i woke up, i would have Barbie doll sleeping beside me... how nice! X'mas reminds me of my childhood memories! loving it! last Friday was the pre-celebration with my fellow chicks, we had our gifts exchange session, we hit to the nearest club after that. it was indeed another awesome night with my babes. X'mas brings me joy and laughter, it gathers all my party partners, it gives us fun! and yes, i love my gift *heart*

what's my X'mas wish list?

1. a new fragrance for myself as i love people saying this to me... "Hmmm... you definitely smell good!" Dior J"adore L'absolu is my choice!

2. a DSLR camera as i recently get into the mood of taking photos ;P Nikon D3000 is good for amateur, i suppose?!

3. a Singapore trip as i wanted badly to see the lightings and decor in the Lion city, at least please let me go for a short vacation to unwind myself =.=

so now, who wants to be the Santa?

lOveydOvey

love is in the air... can you feel it? its a month of marriage i should say :) i just love attending wedding dinner, you know i know we don't need to know. LOL. the laughter, the joy, the happiness, the sincerity, the trueheartedness... just enjoying the time to have some reunion with the big family, fellow friends and all! somehow i wonder when would it be my turn, it shall be years after; how would it be, it shall be FUN!!! okay, stop dreaming girl! *slap*

love me, love me not... in fact i understand that I'm quite a loser in a relationship though people see me having several guys around me in these few years. people often asked, "why is it the different guy again? when can you settle down with the right one and inform the world that you already got the love of your life?" you know its tough, you got to find the one who could fulfill your own requirements as well as your parents'. i think highly of my family, they are my everything. i know they always have their own reasons to be strict to me, or to have expectations on me. as for myself, that will be for you guys to discover :)

to dream or not to be? dreams are always way far to realize, but if i don't dream, life shall be no more hopes, there will be meaningless. then why should i still live in this world? i dream for someone who loves me more than i do, cares about the every little thing of mine, treats me like a princess, prioritize me, understands me well... that will be the minimum requirements of mine, but i suppose every girls thought so too. i don't really go for the good looking one, as you all know, the handsome one always flirtatious... i prefer the well-behaved one, like people said, honesty is the best policy :) and I've been deeply wounded in the past, still recovering from the hurt, I'd want to have my partner to be frank to me, not hiding the truths which maybe one day find out. that could be ugly!

love is... for your own self to define it!

i love you GWEN!

Persistence

December has just begun. My mood swings due to the weather changed.I'm still in low spirits for everything. Nothing i'm looking forward to. What i want is VACATION! Though people think that i'm always in holiday mood. How i wish i could enjoy without having hesitation, without fear, without worries. There's always something that would hold me back.

Split hair!

Life isn't as smooth as you think it is, it'll never be as easy as u think it is.No matter how many liters of alcohol u consume, it won't blow away your problems u faced. The next day you wake up, the same old problems still exist, the newer one occurs. I don't want to be a bad girl who you think i am. The alcoholic, the party animal, the money sucker.

Low esteem!

I wish to smile from my heart.

I want CHEERFUL & BUBBLY back to my life.

I should have stopped moaning and bitching about my life.

But this is the only place i could let it all out.

I don't want to curl back into my loneliness.

I'm afraid.

I'm grieved.

I'm restless.

I need refuge.

朋友

感谢您对我的关怀
感谢您对我的照顾
感谢您对我的付出
感谢您对我的帮助

当你已经决心要放弃我们这段友情
我也很无奈也无言了
因为我总觉得多个朋友好过多个敌人
况且认识一个人也要讲求缘分
上天安排我们相识
我相信它也不想我们结束这段友情
可惜，真的可惜
有什么办法呢
勉强再延续一段你认为没有可能再能维持的友情
也不会得到真正的快乐

在此祝你幸福快乐吧
我会把你当永远的朋友
为你的未来加油吧！

Sound of life

Could you hear the heart beat?

Could you hear someone's talking?

Could you hear the music playing?

Could you hear the voice of GOD?

Could you?

I whisper to myself

YES I DO

My heart is talking to me.

It knows the best.

Always follow it.

It will lead you in the right direction.

I ♥ I

句点

当双方已知道问题的存在
然而并没有尝试去做任何更改
因为每个人有那一丝的私心
已经习惯了一个人的生活
也没有心理准备要承担义务
如果突然间有个人在你的人生中出现了
这确实是一件比较难以接受的事
并且难以适应的
既然是无法改变自己的生活习惯
也无法真心真意的去关心另一个人
那么就把这段情份来个了断吧
免得做个自私的人
白费了人家对你的情意
浪费人家的时间与青春
也了解什么是岁月不留人
放手也是对人家的痛苦来个解脱
好让人家可以转移视线
接受新事务新的一个更爱他/她的人

nOvember rain

do you still remember what u did yesterday?

do you still remember how to miss a person?

do you still remember what is love?

do you still remember the happy moments you used to have with someone dear?

do you still remember the people who care for you and give you unlimited support whenever you needed?

do you still remember how to embrace life?

do you?

looking for a reason to believe, searching for a reason to love...

i forgot how to love a person, 'cos i found out that i love myself more.

love myself is also a kind of love, it just sounds a little selfish.

perhaps i need a little more time to be in love again.

it's the raining season to make me feel this way... =)

Guns N' Roses - November rain

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain


Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

ignoreMYrandomness!!!

The break up disease is contagious, do you agree? I tend to hear people around telling me about who breaking up or having fight with girlfriend/boyfriend... why? I'm also one of them, i wonder if they experienced the same situation like mine. There is no right or wrong in a relationship. As we already know, LOVE is blind. One is willing to be scolded, and the other one who will be doing the scolding. People see me as an autocratic girlfriend, needs freedom more than everything, selfish... bla bla bla... in short, I'm a bad girlfriend! But who knows the truth?

One day, i met my EX when i was chilling with my buddies at Laundry Bar. His presence reminds me about the past. I asked myself, was it my fault to put a fullstops in that relationship? Not saying that i still have feeling towards him but i feel bad after knowing him has changed drastically from a nice and sweet person to a guy who i can't even accept. But i don't think i could bring him such great influence :) God bless him!

When it comes to relationship, I'm not perfect, I'm not flawless. The crazy things I've done, the sins, let me be the one who clean them bits by bits... So i suppose I'm still alone now. I think myself still not suitable to go into a relationship, or i could say, i need a better man. I don't want to be so eager for a new person steps into my life although i do hope for people who care for me, pamper me, treat me like a princess :) Yet again, I'm not desperate. HEEEeeeee... :D

Right now, I'm happy with my life. I've my lovely wife, my mistress, my buddies, my SS Club members, my god brothers, my helpers, my crazy friends, my FAMILY! Basically, I'm contented! They provide me the endless LOVE, they give me strength, they are the best! I'll always remember whoever treats me well, I'll make sure they receive double or more from me! Thanks for being with me :)

Well, its just another random post, I'm just being so spontaneous in a boring Sunday...



p/s : thanks my buddy Aaron for editing this picture... i just love the vintage feel! *heart it*

getOVERityoungPEOPLE

What had happened recently?

People is backstabbing me, spreading rumors about me.

Whatever i've done previously, under the influence of ALCOHOL, i admit that i did wrong.

I thought it'd be the END for quite some times.

However, SOMEONE is still trying to mention the MISTAKE i made for SOME unexplainable REASONS.

In fact, i was trying to find out WHO is the PRODUCER, SCRIPT WRITER, DIRECTOR as well as the ACTOR!

A great job i shall say to that PERSON.

Obviously, he/she still couldn't get over me.

Trying to REVENGE?

C'mon young adult, think wisely before hand.

I won't get agitated over this matter, i'll only SYMPATHIZE you for being so.

Because you still care, that's why you did it!

Still, i should give you a piece of shit advise.

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE!

There are many things you can do other than being a jerk.

Go climb your ladder of career, go concern about your family, go catch up with others' pace.

STOP HOVERING.

Get loose

As the Chinese proverbs - Sometimes we're taking unnecessary pains to study an insoluble problem or in short, split hairs! Things can be so simple, don't take it too complicated. If we can do it this way, life would be so beautiful with lots of smile. If we're aware of it, don't just say it but mean it! Life's short, live it in a better way, but not sorrow, hatred or miserable. Live smart and in good spirit!

Take the negative feedbacks as a driving force to improve yourself. Let the past be the past, our eyes are meant to place in front for us to look forward. Bad experience we had, just let it be. Those will never haunt us again, future undertakings are more significant. Take good advises, ignore the bad ones. Ultimately, know how to differentiate the devils and angels.

Once again i'd say, IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

Time is what i required.

Patience is virtue.

Observe what will happen next.

Picking up the signals first.

Sort things out later.

No matter people blow hot and cold, just ignore it.

All i can do is follow my intuition.

Next stage of life

"Life's short, live life to the fullest" - I know this quote is true but sometimes enjoying your life to the max is not good.

Partying too much recently, turn to be alcohol addict, supper queen, eating hell much as if i was like famished ghost... I need a change, change my unhealthy lifestyle, that's for sure! Often say, upgrade myself- never want to be the ordinary one, never want to be like them (as in partying non stop). CHANGE!!!

I believe in you Gwen!

I'm suffering serious tremor nowadays. My fingers and hands are shaking terribly. Perhaps the stress and tiredness i experienced recently cause me so... Never forget to mention about the alcohol i took for these past few months. Suspected Thyroid disorders symptoms as mom said or what another friend of mine told me- problem with the rhythm of heartbeat. I've no idea... both sound scary to me. It definitely swings my mood. I'm worried... What if bad things happened to me? What if it really happened? What should I do?

Going for full body check up soon... bless me for the results that i wished for! Till then i'll update again. Night with lotsa love *hugs*

Raya Getaway

A short break is definitely great after receiving bad news from college. The feeling is indescribable, all i can tell is - I'm seriously exhausted for all these shits! I love my holidays, it was basically an eating journey and never forgot to mention about the drinking session... :) I was so drop dead tired and i gained a lot of weight. I've been growing horizontally, afraid of measuring my weight. A friend of mine passed me the HK drama series and those DVDs really can kill my boring time. Thanks my friend for being so kind ;) Birthday celebrations for Matthew and Iven in this month- meaning to say that i spent money again for pressie and liquor. GOSH!!!

I swore not to be so emotional but sadly, i'm still learning how to be... Need to meditate myself, stop myself from thinking too much. Can anyone teach me?! *sigh* I hate myself for being so, i need to cut all craps! Stay tough Gwen Babe!

I miss you! And for sure you know who is the one =P *XOXO*

Question that has been routinized

Someone asked me, "What you do for living?". Well, my answer will be definitely the same that I've been telling people for years, "I'm still a student". Why the elderly people so keen to ask me this question? Am i too old to be a student? Or through the conversations i had with them, they thought me as a working adult? How i wish i can forever be a student, daddy's girl... i love my life not to be tied down with the odd working schedule, I'm afraid of the heavy workload, busy all the time. Till then, i won't able to see my family and friends as often, chill out with them whenever i can... Will miss that kinda life, that's for sure! But sadly, i need to grow up, couldn't stay under the protection of family. Gwen, Accept the fact please!!!

Time Capsule

With a blink of eye, everything has changed. Life has been back to the basic, the very simple one! Tried to recall what had happened in the past, it was beautiful. It's the moment to embrace my life... Family is my everything, Friends are there for me, always be! Love is there to exist! What can i ask for more? It's never be so contented to have nice things surrounding me... It's no longer a time for me to stay unhappy already, cheer up shall be the note to myself. Smile for the incomings, predict it, prepare myself for the future undertakings! The party marathon has over, the steps towards real life society is about to come... Fearless, bring out the courage! Tomorrow will be another great day!

August, i declare the month of freedom!

What should i say about my summer break? If you're saying i didn't really enjoy much during this semester break, urm... although it's kinda overwhelmed sometimes, but i did enjoy it! I didn't expect myself to work during this break but i did... Mom forced me to work because she couldn't stand me slacking at home all the time or if i hang out with my friends. Well, it's also sorta true as i tend to spend more than usual... Never mentioned about what i bought, where i spent... I'm still working hard to repay the debts! I'm a pauper now! Gosh!

Where should i start off with? It's been a while since i update my blog, I've been struggling with time ever since i started working as a part time in DKNY Gardens. Thanks to my bestie Paco who recommended me to her manager and i know i still owe him a lunch! Look, spending money again after earning it... This is why i will be working still when i started my new semester. Money constraint all the time! I didn't want to stretch out my palm to Daddy just to ask for extra $. There are also pros after i worked other than the only cons i can think of is the time constraint. LOL! I know new friends whereby they are all my lovely colleagues, they are absolutely nice to me! Meanwhile, i realised that even though it's recession, but the ladies still can spend like as if there's no tomorrow. Clearly shown that the ladies indeedly can spend without thinking! Furthermore, i get to see the high society people =)

My birthday celebration for this year was a blast! Credit to all my friends who made it happen! Mommy checked the photos via Facebook, she said:" You guys really party like crazy!" LOL! Sadly my babe Darling J couldn't make it, or else i think it might be a better scene =P Never forget Mr. Dino who brought me delicious food as he knew i love craving food... Thousand of appreciation i could say for countless time. This year birthday is certainly worth to keep as a pleasant memory for life =) I did receive pressie from my buddies... Aww, so sweet of them! Not much detail i can elaborate, pictures talk! Check out my Facebook album =) August, i love you! *xoxo*

This coming friday will be Mr. DC's big day! Finally he and his wife will be officially tying the knot with the chinese tradition. It should be fun to attend! This is why i'm anticipating 29th August 2009! ;) Hope i can make myself available for that day... I couldn't afford to miss this golden opportunity to experience this! Stay tune once again! LOL!

Off to bed again... Morning anyway! Muaxx!

A fine meal everytime!

Craving for food all the time!

Attendee : Dad, Gigi, Shaun & Me =)

Venue : Bel Pasto Italian Restaurant

Menu

Starters : Mushroom soup x4

Main course : Spaghetti & Pizza Bel Pasto, Chicken Lasagna

Desserts : Tiramisu & Butter cake

Feedback : Tastier than Italiannies

Bel Pasto

Butter cake with vanila ice cream & choc toppings

Tiramisu *on the house* & younger brother promoting his hp

*spot the crab*

Spaghetti Bel Pasto *yum*

Chicken Lasagne *sis & bro all time fav*

Pizza Bel Pasto *licking good*

Mushroom soup *fresh button & oyster mushrooms*

The confession of a shopaholic

Shopping is always a best medicine for all the ladies. Do you agree?

I don't know about you, but definitely is mine!

Every ladies are gifted with the gene - Shopaholic =)

Although you spend like as if you are the millionaire but you'll get the satisfaction during shopping.

You try on the new clothes, you feel yourself pretty on it - satisfied!

When you purchase it, you feel excited as you are going to have new clothes in your wardrobe - satisfied!

You don't need to worry about what to wear for the next outing with your babes or friends - satisfied!

But sadly when come to billing, at that moment, you feel like dying because you are going to be drop dead broke after clearing the credit card bills - OMFG!

...

..

.

..

...

A shopping spree began on a wonderful Thursday.

Telawi Streets at Bangsar!

My new hot BFF Joyce and I decided to go there for some new affordable clothes to enhance the variety of clothes in our wardrobe. =P

Had our lunch at Sakae Sushi at Bangsar Village II before we have the energy to burn walking up and down on the stairs.

We shopped for 5 hours, not even have the time to 'camwhore'...

A 15minutes break at McD just to rejuvenate our self, and again continued our shopping journey.

Can you imagine yourself at Milan, going in and out from all the designers' boutiques, of cause with our war trophies - shopping bags!

Plenty of paper bags we both had. =)

The last stop was the killing one with all the designers' clothing, shoes and acessories.

"OMG, that Christian Dior stiletto heel is nice! Look at this BEBE top, it absolutely looks sexy on you! Geez, i'm gonna get this top for my BF, it's Gianfranco Ferre! This Chanel earrings is pretty exclusive. Hey you babe, never ask me to go shopping next time!"

Hell ya, spend before earn. How satirize!

...

..

.

..

...

How am I going to survive for the next 5 weeks after spending so much?!

God!

A toast, a celebration

The journey of my mid term break has begun.

Savouring delicious food will the usual activity to do.

So decided to go for a cozy restaurant serving comtemporary Siam & Burmese cuisine. Tamarind Hill is our selection of the day.

** Some photos unable to recover, but no worries, there's always another time! =) *heart*

辛酸的交响曲

好景不长在好花不长开

深深的体会到这种感觉

终于要在美梦中醒了

原来憧憬的与现实的根本就是天渊之别

苦苦的强求也得不到任何的回报

只有强烈的反对与虚伪的祝福

即使用尽所有的力量去维护

事情也只是越潦越黑

开始哭累了也不再去想了

原来一切只不过是如此而已

事实也不能因这样而改变

如果时间能够倒退

希望遇见你时是彼此都想要得结果

Tears of joy

Have you ever teared because of someone close to you is walking down the aisle soon? I don't even expect this will happen so fast and it's totally beyond my expectation. Whoa! Met with Mr. DC at KLCC soon after I finished my class today. Before seeing him, I was wondering that what myself is going to say first when I see him? Speechless! I had an awkward feeling somehow since the day I heard the news from my gang. It's unbelievable! And this feeling has been bothering me for few days. Mr. DC was looking not-so-excited somehow, I mean i can see that thru his faceless expression. He looked a tad restless, and i think he has not been sleeping well recently. Hmmm... And i hardly can say 'Congratulation'... Well i know, it should be a great news, but sadly, I'm still trying my best to accept the fact that my close friend is getting married. This is a stage of life whereby Marriage is just like proceeding to the next level. Marriage is about the process. It lies under more commitments and burdens, but it is supported by the strengths of love. I truly bless Mr. DC that he'll have a wonderful life ahead with his new family... Now, I'm looking forward to see the most touching scene ever for this year 2009 when He says, "I do"... Stay tune peep!

A marriage is not a 50/50 compromise. It takes both husband and wife giving 100/100.

Lifeless

I'm thinking too much recently. I can feel the emptiness, sorrow, gloomy, frustration... whatever i can say it... I understand that human sometimes have such mixed feeling whereby you don't feel good at all no matter what sorta things you do to make yourself feel a little better =( Assignments keep coming in, assessments almost every single class, endless chores, insufficient of money, friendship or family issue, worrying about the future and wondering if myself had chosen the correct path... I seriously have no idea of what am i thinking right now. It's kinda too diversified. The words WHAT IF are stuck in my head... The feeling of hesitation is what I'm having at this moment. People around me may think that I'm so complicated, not so approachable or paranoia perhaps... But, do they ever make the attempt of knowing me better? Apparently, I'm just having a little emotional time.

I wonder, is being ignorance will make my life better? But contradictory, i think it's so shallow-minded. I've been wounded deeply in the past, couldn't blame myself from thinking too much somehow. Just a deep thinker afterall. Apparently, I need somebody to understand how i feel, and of cause giving me some emotional support.

What is the meaning of life?

Life is...

Do not be afraid of life. Nothing is to be feared of... is only to be understood!!!

Happy Papa's Day

The Father's day

We had our dinner at Ah Yat Abalone Forum Restaurant

A short Cammy session before & during dinner

Shaun & Daim

Papa & Mama

The Abalone

Gigi & Shaun

Posing at the Winter Bar, Quattro

Gigi & Gwen

Shaun is tryin' to flirt Gigi

Promoting the restaurant?!

We ♥ food

We ♥ DAD

Dad, i know I've been a little naughty, pissing you off quite a number of times... but you know i always love you and i really do. Forgive me for the wrong things that I've done to myself and those which hurt you deeply. Happy Father's day! XOXO

Words for the day

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!!!

May God be with you

You know what's the best, I'll support you for any decision made.

Just bear in mind, think wisely before hand.

Worry less when you're with me, as I'll try my best to ease your pain, take away the vexation you faced.

Think no more when you've made up your mind, go ahead to do what you think it's right.

I'll never walk away from you no matter what, or how worse the situation can be.

Girl with dreams

Do you dream?

Always!

I live to dream. Dreams are part of my goals to accomplish. I need to dream to keep me going. Dreams give me hope. Whatever i dream about, as long as i think isn't unrealistic, should be fine =) Being realistic? Yes, i am... I never dream to live in a castle or to be a princess. So i think it's reasonable. Life would be dull or miserable if you never dream, ain't? Dream can be so beautiful... It motivates you, it tells you to be more hardworking so that your dream can be realized someday.

What i'm trying to say is... people do dream!!! Its just the matter of you dream big or small. I tend to dream big although it's far to realize. Reaching my goals is important to me, and i don't wish getting sidetracked. This is me, the girl with BIG dreams ;) What dreams am i talking about? FUTURE!!! Not PHUTURE... >.< 

Never want to share about MY DREAMS though =P

So people, sleep early tonight and start to have a nice sweet dream ;P 

When you are low with nowhere to go, remember this, when you open your eyes, your heart, your spirit, yourself, there you will find the stranger called hope! 

Spontaneous

I wonder how a person feels when he/she misses someone badly.

For me, i feel awkward.

The feeling is hard to tell.

I can never explain it by words. More than words i can say.

Missing someone can be so sweet and concurrently, can be so suffering.

Want a person so badly to be by my side.

Sadly, constraints to concern. =(

The every moment i spent is precious, priceless.

My heart is skipping

My mind is wandering

all i can think of is

"When can i see you again?"

I miss you so badly

Welcoming the new me...

Few weeks back, i was caught red handed of being a rebellious girl. I disappointed my parents as they really put a high expectation on me. Their smart daughter is gone, left only the frustration... I punished myself, i left myself grounded. This isn't their decision though, but i think i deserve it.

Its actually a good time for me to rejuvenate my soul. Plenty of activities had been going on for quite a long period of time. No doubt, its kind of overwhelmed, restless and muddled. Staying at home, reading books, flipping thru magazines, being couch potato, net-surfing, facebook-ing, swimming and jogging... Basically, that's how i burnt my time during this 1 week break. Oh, never forget to mention about watching movies in cinema.

I made myself a to-do-list:

• To curb one of my bad habits- being EMOTIONAL >.<
• Be more health conscious- controlling my diets and doing workouts
• To cut down the outings- save money for trips =P
• To build a better relationship with family
• To be more understanding

And the list goes on...

Isn't it a healthier life? Although friends around me might think this as a drastic change, but i thought it'll be good somehow. =) Not so good to always project such image to people as a wild party animal, crazy playful young girl or whatever they can think of. I do need good impression for my better future. To be honest, i miss those great old days... *resminisce*

Soon... the real Gwen will be back again! ;P Fellas, wait for me! >.<

He is not the one for me...

Me being silly again...

I wasn't thinking straight at that point, i sent him a text.

"I told myself that the time will come when i'll stop loving you and the distance we have, i'll forget you. But then i realize that since you left, time had stopped and distance had no measure."

In fact i know that he actually found a new girl. I've tried my best to gather his updated news as many as possible. I want him to be happy, nothing more. 

All the best to you Mr. B, find your happiness and i'll find mine too =)