累

心被伤得有够彻底
无奈已变成绝望
觉得很寂寞
心在哭泣
有人明白我的心声吗？

人生不如意的事十常八九
可是我真的受够了
失意的时候还会生病发烧
天还会跟我开玩笑

唉！
心很痛啊！

Grievances

I've been working in this company for more than half a year. I thought i couldn't stay any longer than 6 months, still working for the slightly higher pay than the normal freshgrads :( A bunch of idiots from THEIR country are all so-called director level. If i were to be paid like them, mostly probably my job responsibilities will be very wide. Why are they doing nothing but just cleaning the shoes of boss? Just because they all carrying the blue passports and of course with attached expat's visa? I seriously couldn't stand for it, sooner or later, i'll be like the volcano from indonesia, ERUPTION! I'm waiting for the right time to go... God please hear my prayers and lead me to the brighter path, the right one. Fingers crossed and hope for the greater future. One day i shall hear from myself- i love my job; not everyday wake up hating the job bits by bits... Stop complaining and off to bed, back to the war zone tomorrow. Didn't i mention that my boss dislikes me to take medical leave, this is funny, who wants to fall sick?

Busy bee

A lil too lifeless nowadays

Always been busy at work

Nothing but work

Easily fall asleep when i was resting on the couch

Even if stuck in the traffic jam

STRESSED!
At times i thought of giving up

As in not going to work anymore

BE QUEEN at HOME!

But to think it in the other way

I COULD BE MORE LIFELESS

I'm looking forward the trip

Long awaiting trip

Pending for so long

WISH & DREAM

OCTOBER please come!

I'm rotting already

I MISS THE HOLIDAYS I USED TO HAVE

AND I WISH TO HAVE NOW!

人为梦想而长大

Sometimes life isn't about money, career or relationship. I tried so hard to be the ideal person, for myself of course! Everyone has dreams and wishes, this is why we would make wishes before blowing off the candles. Surely we have dreams to drive us further in our lives, to keep on going because we believe one day, dreams will come true. I'm still going strong, with the presence of family and friends. I appreciate the guardian angels, god's blessings, loves which sprinkle around me. Me still me, even though i never show it, doesn't mean i don't care. I'm still the passionate, kind-hearted Gwen. Life is a bed of roses with spikes, i learn from time to time. I still will go through the rocky roads, obstacles ahead. I won't be as emotional as i used to be, it deviates me from being reasonable. Gwen, tougher you can think :)

我的人生目标还是有一段遥远的距离。我会为自己而加倍努力！

Speechless

Let bygones be bygones.
Let it just go with the flow.
Let it be...
I'm out of the game.

Life n me

Still going strong, still going on!
Several times i planned to leave.
Staying here isn't great.
Knowledge nil, experience nil.
Advise given, opinion given.
Look into a bigger picture.
See things in long run.
I stay!
Miracle does happen, i believe.

他或它？
我选择了它。
因为它才能给我幸福快乐。
因为他带给我麻烦与约束。
还是觉得它最好！

当下

搞不清楚
动摇的心
忘了宗旨
舍去原则
行动不一
优柔寡断

忘了
乱了
疯了

再也不明白

不想
不盼
不要

一切顺其自然
总会有明月照亮
柳暗花明

Quick update

A short trip makes you smile. A getting together session, booze and food, everything is just simply great! Relaxing and calm, cooling weather blew my vex away. Lovely isn't it?

Missing my great buddy Aaron, planted a kiss on his cheek before he left to hometown Sarawak. I just couldn't stop loving this big kid!

Life has been treating me good. Not much changes, i just wish to go for more short trips. Visiting buddy's hometown, sun bathing, eating n shopping, so many things to include in my wish list!

Birthday is just around the corner. No wonder i'm in a great mood :P Food, booze, party n pressie :X Cant wait! Spray me love as well!

Reason to cry on

Single or in a relationship?
Both require guts.
Loneliness is the greatest enemy of being single.
Commitment is the most difficult task for in a relationship.
Single mingle = freedom
Boyf/girlf = trouble
Started to think like a man.
Afraid to choose and decide.
Sometimes i wish to think no more.
Why be in a relationship?
Why be single?
Why cant i skip the whole process?
Carefree and just get married?
I need more strengths and forces.
More luck and blessing.
I just want to be happy go lucky.
No more shedding tears.
No more night lonesome.
No more headache.
I just need somebody, not trouble.

Hold it till you found it

When you have options, you have to choose one among all.
When you need to decide which to choose, you have to think and consider.
When you have decided, you will hesitate on it.
When you have hesitation, you will reconsider it again.
It's like a cycle, never ending story.
I don't wish to have a second thought of it.
However it's a tad annoying sometimes.

People come people go, easily fall for you, easily say goodbye.
Today you may tell me you love me, tomorrow may be a different story.
I'm not an 24/7 on-call part-timer.
I need a real serious person who loves me more than i do.
No matter how deeply i used to love or be loved, i prefer the one and only is the man who can give me happiness in all way.

Missing it

甜蜜的话
动人的简讯
美丽的承诺
无微不至的照顾
温馨的拥抱
深情的吻
牺牲的付出
刻骨铭心的爱情

我想念

随着年龄的增长
思想的改变
总觉得爱情很难
许多考虑的因素
没完没了的障碍
足够让我退缩
不想有任何约束

怀念那没牵挂无忧无虑的爱

Change

There's still a distance
Things that hardly achievable
Dreams that way far to realize
Who i want to be

Everyday seeing performance and luxurious cars
Looking at the people living in a fabulous life
Somebody in a well-known company

I want
I have to
I will

Life without these could be so dull
Even with the person you loved
You wanted to be somebody
Having quality time without worrying the amount of money spent
Fun and carefree

This is what i shall be

Good luck and all the best in the future undertakings!

CHANGE

笨

心已经麻了

美丽的承诺
满腹抱负
一丝的希望
再也不相信了

太多失落
希望毁灭
伤口又再次洒了盐

痛
失望

无言

聪明反被聪明误

Current feeling

Finally i cried
Let it all out
I crumble after so long
Suffered in silent
Fall apart in a second
Tears rolling down
Remind self life is not always full of roses
Take it or not

Testing the level of patience
Unable to foresee anything
Not knowing how to smile
Being so hopeless
Back to the grey world

Why still wait
Not being appreciated
Abandoned
Not progressive
Why still stay

Upset
Disappointed

WHEN THE TIME WILL COME
WHEN THINGS WILL GO ON MY WAY

Fcuked up
Screw YOU

杯

世界杯的热潮
球迷疯狂了
连不常看球赛的人也都随着那股热而兴奋起来

大部份的人已经开始赌注了
小赌贻情嘛
赢了赌注也就可以带来欢快

我却为这股歪风而感到心酸

即将有人会因世界杯而顷家荡产
小部份的却会失去了辛苦赚回来的血汗钱

从不喜欢赌博的我也不会爱上世界杯
唉，为那些赌徒而祈祷吧！

Run gwen run

It's just another weekend! Had a great sleep but awake early. Supposedly i should have slept more, however my brain and body alarmed me =.= WTF!!!

Weekend- mind, body and soul's off day! They hunger for relaxation. I should be in somewhere else enjoying my holidays, why am i still stuck here? I need an escapade!

The vex, agitated, hatred feeling had over... Ignored, abandoned, isolated- i accept it and get used to it! What else? All i need is a weekend getaway! The whole of me urge for vacation!

I want to go away from this place! I need to leave this land that will drive me nuts soon...

加油！

开始放开了，再也不执着自己的那一套。
当环境所逼，再加上失控的情绪，没完没了的事务，自然而然地会有所改变了。
长大了吗？学会了机灵变动吗？还得多多学习社会的人情事故，你挣我夺的丑态。
向自己跨越了这绊脚石而乾杯！前面的路途还很遥远，再为自己而加油吧！
错误的选择，会更加想要祢补。知道了不可能改变的事实，唯有加把劲去面对和应付吧！
人生还是充满着希望，等待着伯乐的提拔！

Mama, i love u

As usual, the Pan Family celebrated every year mother's day.

Dinner @ Ah Yat's

The couple

Bird nest's egg tart

Snow jelly dessert

abalone, sea cucumber & mushroom

Sharkfin's soup

Family portrait

With their princesses :P

The lovely couple

LOVE you as always

XOXO

Sunshine

*ignore my eye bags*

Good morning sunshine!

Always remind myself, no matter what and how,

there'll be someone guarding me.

Whoever tries to eliminate me, a good try i should say.

I'll stay tough just as always!

ups n downs

is it wrong to be emotional?

is it wrong to have moment to recall?

is it wrong to be spoilt just a while?

is it wrong to speak out?

is it wrong to let the feeling out?

do i deserve a better future?

do i have a choice?

this is not about the discontentment,

to nag or to blame,

i just need to let it all out before volcano blows up.

i'm only a human,

not a superwoman.

I'm a slave for U

Starting to have the Monday Blue, Tuesday Maniac, Wednesday Hype, Thursday Vex and Friday Lazy... All i think about will be weekend and vacation! Begin hating my mobile phone on weekdays, emotional in the early morning, feel torturing not to fall sick easily :( The crucial one- start eating promptly everyday and this leads to the growing of body!

Life sounds so horrible and scary... Hardly imagine how could it turn to?! Already in the stage of spending self-earned money, crying for every single cent spent, less self-pampered moment. How awful! Meeting deadlines, expectation, performance... Where's the liberty? Seeing hypocrites, encountering shits, handling grievances... F those!!!

No life! Just a Slave of Money...

识时务为俊杰，知进退为英雄

the acme of perfection is beyond human reach.

many things are far from satisfaction, your desires shall not be fulfilled.

often say, if there is a will, be always a way...

somehow when the right moment hasn't arrived, you would still need to wait patiently.

in that period of time, it could be so vexatious and might give up everything.

advises given:

|

adapt yourself to prevailing circumstances, ride along the tide of changing times, your talent and ability will be widely appreciated soon.

|

when life gives you lemon, make lemonade.

what else?

the need is only CHANCE!

nothing but chance.

this is another stage of life, just a dilemma moment.

for you to consider, for you to make decision for the path you take.

be hopeful, life still goes on!

keep the faith...

*fingers crossed*

The Breadwinner

even a tough man will fall one day. never thought this will happen to him, never expected this. everyday seeing him as a very healthy man, goes for his evening jog after work, control his diet and all... sometimes he would still nag his children about this and that. we may not listen to what he said, as the words turn to be irritating, poking the eardrums. the worst is, we may just ignore him for instance. today, shit happened! now only we realized how unfilial children we used to be, how harsh we treated him, how disrespectful we were! how dare we could claim his as petty old man, stingy person in the world and so... just for the reason of not buying things we want to have?! gosh, this is so ridiculous when we really think it wisely for what words which came out from our bloody mouth. the day will come and if we don't cherish and treasure the moment we still have with him, forever we will feel regretful. one day we may never have the chance to even hear his voice or see him again, do what we should do before everything is too late.

i'm sorry for whatever it is... and i love you dad!

没那么容易

经过了这一番教训之后，我再也不敢相信这世界上有谁愿意为谁而付出的人。因为你永远都不知道那个人几时会转胎，由其是那些小气的人，报复心重的人，看不开的人或者是醋坛子！我已经深深体会到了，那个人也应该感到很痛快我所得到的下场。唉，算了！就当作我没带眼识人，就当作我做人天真，相信错人。还是靠自己比较好，因为天下本来就没有免费的午餐！说什么爱情、友情或者是亲情，通通都是互利互害的！我恨，我痛恨一切都来得太快，我吃不消，完全是一场恶梦！

算了吧！就当作是一场经验吧，人生也有高峰低落的时候，就勇敢的去面对吧！有个人告诉我，人生总有潮起潮落，跌进了谷底，才知道在山上的美，最重要还是能有勇气的爬出来。我领悟了，我会加把劲，使出我的浑身解术，我必要得到我想要的未来。

经过了这一番教训之后，我再也不敢相信这世界上有谁愿意为谁而付出的人。因为你永远都不知道那个人几时会转胎，由其是那些小气的人，报复心重的人，看不开的人或者是醋坛子！我已经深深体会到了，那个人也应该感到很痛快我所得到的下场。唉，算了！就当作我没带眼识人，就当作我做人天真，相信错人。还是靠自己比较好，因为天下本来就没有免费的午餐！说什么爱情、友情或者是亲情，通通都是互利互害的！我恨，我痛恨一切都来得太快，我吃不消，完全是一场恶梦！

算了吧！就当作是一场经验吧，人生也有高峰低落的时候，就勇敢的去面对吧！有个人告诉我，人生总有潮起潮落，跌进了谷底，才知道在山上的美，最重要还是能有勇气的爬出来。我领悟了，我会加把劲，使出我的浑身解术，我必要得到我想要的未来。

In love with you

Been drinking stout lately, to be honest, already addicted to it. This magic black liquid, me loving it! Leaving me the chinese herbs aroma, it really kicks my taste buds. Surprisingly, don't find it bitter :)

Thanks to my elder brother for advising me, thanks to Lovely Patsy Sis for getting me addicted to it!

Tried several places for Guinness and Connors draught, i still prefer Guinness... So yummy! *Raise your glass and say: To Arthur's* Call me a beer lady- i just love to drink beer than any other alcohols.

Where to find stout draught near my area?
- HIDE
- Berlin Biergarten
- Laundry
- Library
- Brussels Beer Garden

Will further explore more cool places for tastier stout draught :)

p/s: Ain't heavy drinker, just love getting a lil tipsy, easier for an insomnia person like me to fall asleep.

星星知我心

千言万语说不尽
心事谁能知

总该知道人比人气死人这句话
支持我，没有
包容我，没有
了解我，没有
难道我就是那么没用

该明白我是个怎样的人
我也要有出人头地的一天
容许你给我一点时间
我会做到你要的

The scenic Guilin

名副其实的桂林之旅游山玩水记

~love the chilly weather
~love the air
~love the scenery
~love the history
~love the price

~hate the food
~hate the WC
~hate the long journey
~hate the road condition
~hate the coach

V for Valentine

Thanks for the surprise :)
The cute pink piggy is worth for thousand smiles and i just cant stop thinking about the photo which unable to view due to the corrupted image. It must be your pig head. Happy V's day and happy chinese new year to you!

mine.mind

Thinking of places to go for sweet escape

Need a getaway

Start from the nearest

Singapore?

For bags hunting

Krabi?

For the beautiful beaches

Bali?

For the romantic sunset dinner

How i wish you were here

With your presence

Everything seems so perfect

There will be no problems

At least it can be solved easily

You can keep people's mouth shut

No issues raised

Beg and pray

You please come to me

Had an awful day

Experienced the worst feeling ever

Because everything little thing involved you

And had to face the music again

Such a problem maker

But you are so important to me

Can't even live without you

Confused?

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Valentine's Day

I love you

Another random post

Insane state of mind

Tattoo-ing the memory

thinking of getting a tattoo but worried too.. Afraid of pain and regret.. This could be forever.

Close the January chapter

If without noticing the date on my computer screen just now, i wouldn't know today is already 30th January. Time flies... Middle of the month i had my final exam for my degree's last sem n end of the month i had my japanese language beginner 1 exam. No more exams for me, not till my beginner 2 exam for the next 3 months. This is worth for celebration! Yay ^^v

Congratulations to my friends who soon gonna be engaged, to friends who got into their new relationships, to friends who soon gonna be parents... I could say other than the exam period, a blissful month i had. I was busy working part time, the long working hour is indeed crazy but i was well-treated. This i couldn't deny.. Lol! Food and Beer after work is definitely great! Couldn't resist looking for my bf Mr. Hoe everytime i finished work. Found a new spot of drinking cheap Hoegaarden- De Solvang @ Solaris Mont Kiara. Love the ambience, love the price! :)

Moo moo year is gonna end soon, roar roar year is just around the corner. Its my year baby! Its my time to shine like a star, like a sparkling diamond! Although i'm worried about my future, guess i should put it aside first because i'm in festive mood. Gong hei fatt choi baby! Its ang pau and travel time! I miss taking flight with family, i miss spending quality time with them, i miss travelling with them, most importantly, i don't need to pay a single cent for it. XD

To whom may concern,
God will bless you for the hardwork and effort you put into, i'll pray for you too. Your dreams shall be realised, your wishes will be granted. Don't tense up yourself. Health comes first!

To whom may concern,
I'm glad that you move on and have your new life. Finally everything has come to an end. No more disputes, thats the greatest thing! Bless you and your significant 1.

To whom may concern,
Darl buddy, you know that i miss you and your tummy so much. Please come back with the disco ball. Heart you!

Love the people around me. Love the life i have. Love the dreams i live for.

A. A person who can provide u nothing but love

B. A person who can afford to pay for what u wanted to buy, but doesn't really love u

C. A person who can provide u unlimited love and bear your expenses

D. A person who loves u and effort made was after the relationship ended

E. A person who u love him/her more than he/she does

F. A person who loves u but u don't really love him/her

Many possibilities if i were to list down... No matter how, i appreciate those people who give me the meaning of life. Without them, my life will be dull. It could be colourless, there would not be moment to capture. I could be a nobody in this LOVE WORLD!

Love or not?

美丽的误会

我从来都没有欺骗过你，也没有给过你任何虚假的希望。只是你一直以来都觉得我在给你错觉，让你有假象，更觉得我会等你。其实你根本都不明白我所要表达的意思， 还直言说我一直都在说谎，答应你的一切都是假的。

也许当下的我曾说过一番很感性的话，让你有所误会，更认为我们之间还有希望。难道你分不清什么是承诺的话，什么是完整一句美丽的话吗？当下的我也可能因感觉，在很浪漫的环境底下所说的话，你就把它当成是一种承诺，那我根本就没有说过那番话是对你许下的诺言，我岂不是你现在所谓的说话者，大话精？ 没有人会知道明天的你还会活在这个世界上，我也不是要预测什么，我根本就给不到任何人任何保障与诺言，难道我还会答应你这些这样重要的事情吗？

你也许会认为我在推翻你对我的想法和观念，也可能觉得我很强词夺理，难道我说得这么明显，你还不了解吗？我不会要你为了我而做任何东西，就算是在读书方面或者是工作上。你只要做给你自己看，证明给自己就好，而不是给任何人，因为人活着就是为了自己，跨越自己，让自己更自重，而不是为了别人才做出任何生活上的改变。因为为了别人才让自己更进步，我会觉得你在你人生当中所要达到的目标也未免太过简单了？

你曾说过，你清楚明白我们不会复合，你也只是会当我是个朋友而对待，今天的你反而又问起了我会不会等你，我真的搞不懂，你说的话也蛮自相矛盾，我还以为你已经想通了，也不会在钻牛角尖了，可是。。。我真的为了这件事而烦恼了起来，不知道要怎样去解释说明，你才能了解我所要告诉你的一切。

别再那么的固执主观，可以吗？听一下别人的解释，听一下别人的见解，可以吗？改变下自己的观念，想法和看法，可以吗？我并没有欺骗过你，我不是情场杀手，我没玩弄过你的感情。可不可以从另一个角度尝试去对待了解整件事吗？

我真的不想再为了这件事而争论了，也请你把感情的事摆在一旁。我希望大家还可以做回朋友，因为有缘才能相识，我不想失去多一个朋友。