jingle bells

it has almost come to the end of December baby! one of my favorite festive season is approaching :) although i'm not a Christian, but i still love celebrating X'mas! i remember when i was still a little girl, daddy asked me to put my small tiny socks beside my bed so that Santa will stuff the socks with presents. the next day i woke up, i would have Barbie doll sleeping beside me... how nice! X'mas reminds me of my childhood memories! loving it! last Friday was the pre-celebration with my fellow chicks, we had our gifts exchange session, we hit to the nearest club after that. it was indeed another awesome night with my babes. X'mas brings me joy and laughter, it gathers all my party partners, it gives us fun! and yes, i love my gift *heart*

what's my X'mas wish list?

1. a new fragrance for myself as i love people saying this to me... "Hmmm... you definitely smell good!" Dior J"adore L'absolu is my choice!

2. a DSLR camera as i recently get into the mood of taking photos ;P Nikon D3000 is good for amateur, i suppose?!

3. a Singapore trip as i wanted badly to see the lightings and decor in the Lion city, at least please let me go for a short vacation to unwind myself =.=

so now, who wants to be the Santa?

lOveydOvey

love is in the air... can you feel it? its a month of marriage i should say :) i just love attending wedding dinner, you know i know we don't need to know. LOL. the laughter, the joy, the happiness, the sincerity, the trueheartedness... just enjoying the time to have some reunion with the big family, fellow friends and all! somehow i wonder when would it be my turn, it shall be years after; how would it be, it shall be FUN!!! okay, stop dreaming girl! *slap*

love me, love me not... in fact i understand that I'm quite a loser in a relationship though people see me having several guys around me in these few years. people often asked, "why is it the different guy again? when can you settle down with the right one and inform the world that you already got the love of your life?" you know its tough, you got to find the one who could fulfill your own requirements as well as your parents'. i think highly of my family, they are my everything. i know they always have their own reasons to be strict to me, or to have expectations on me. as for myself, that will be for you guys to discover :)

to dream or not to be? dreams are always way far to realize, but if i don't dream, life shall be no more hopes, there will be meaningless. then why should i still live in this world? i dream for someone who loves me more than i do, cares about the every little thing of mine, treats me like a princess, prioritize me, understands me well... that will be the minimum requirements of mine, but i suppose every girls thought so too. i don't really go for the good looking one, as you all know, the handsome one always flirtatious... i prefer the well-behaved one, like people said, honesty is the best policy :) and I've been deeply wounded in the past, still recovering from the hurt, I'd want to have my partner to be frank to me, not hiding the truths which maybe one day find out. that could be ugly!

love is... for your own self to define it!

i love you GWEN!

Persistence

December has just begun. My mood swings due to the weather changed.I'm still in low spirits for everything. Nothing i'm looking forward to. What i want is VACATION! Though people think that i'm always in holiday mood. How i wish i could enjoy without having hesitation, without fear, without worries. There's always something that would hold me back.

Split hair!

Life isn't as smooth as you think it is, it'll never be as easy as u think it is.No matter how many liters of alcohol u consume, it won't blow away your problems u faced. The next day you wake up, the same old problems still exist, the newer one occurs. I don't want to be a bad girl who you think i am. The alcoholic, the party animal, the money sucker.

Low esteem!

I wish to smile from my heart.

I want CHEERFUL & BUBBLY back to my life.

I should have stopped moaning and bitching about my life.

But this is the only place i could let it all out.

I don't want to curl back into my loneliness.

I'm afraid.

I'm grieved.

I'm restless.

I need refuge.