At this point of time, I feel like giving myself bitch slap. 
This is the worst feeling ever, and it disgusts me hell much. 
Why like this? Why am I doing this? 
The most sober time is when I'm awake from the dizziness and the after alcohol effect. 
I can actually see my ugly face, the true color, the worst me. 
I want to stop all the nonsense. As much as the unwillingness, I still have to do it. 
The sinner's sin, the ridiculous me.
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