capture the moment

...

2012-01-27T01:07:00.002+08:00

been thinking lately about life and future

so afraid to step out from the comfort zone

reality is always ugly and harsh

haunted me recently

am i ready for it yet

uncertainties and doubts

so overwhelmed

turn to be coward all of a sudden

lied to myself every single day

just wish to run away

tomorrow is just another day

goodnight and think later

Bye 2011 and hello 2012

2011-12-31T13:29:00.004+08:00

end of year 2011

what you have done

remember what you set for the new year's resolution

is the list all checked and cleared

have you set for the new targets and goals

what are you going to be in 2012

believe that through our efforts, we can make a difference in our lives of another by becoming a better listener not a master in solving another's problem

words of encouragement go a lot further than offering solutions that may or may not work

life is not made up of story problems to solve, but daily challenges to overcome and lessons to learn

may we each strive to become better listeners, spreading love and kindness to our companion

it wouldn't be new year if i didn't have regrets

i learnt and mistakes made will not be repeated again

been deeply wounded for 2011

it's time to stitch it back

thanks for those whom i loved and loved me

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Confession of the broken heart

2011-12-12T01:09:00.002+08:00

The heart is aching.
The mind is out.
The soul is stolen.
I'm ready to cry.

Vexation, agitation, disappointment, hatred...

You caused me to feel so.
I don't want it.

Numb.
Thank you so much for treating me like this.
I believe I don't deserve this.

Time to say goodbye.

Confession of sin

2011-12-10T04:01:00.002+08:00

At this point of time, I feel like giving myself bitch slap.
This is the worst feeling ever, and it disgusts me hell much.
Why like this? Why am I doing this?
The most sober time is when I'm awake from the dizziness and the after alcohol effect.
I can actually see my ugly face, the true color, the worst me.
I want to stop all the nonsense. As much as the unwillingness, I still have to do it.
The sinner's sin, the ridiculous me.

Pain in the arse!

2011-11-14T01:41:00.003+08:00

Do you know how tough it is to hold your tears even though your heart has broken into pieces?
Do you know how to pretend you are fine but in fact you already lost your heart and mind?
Do you know how suffering it is when you lost someone's trust?
Do you know once you are dead, troubles gone!

How I wish to end my life now rather than facing you now?

Go fuck yourself!

...

2011-10-22T10:23:00.003+08:00

名字改得不好，運就會有差
平常不做虧心事，可是厄運總是跟隨著
待人處事都謹慎，惡人非要找碴
總覺得事事都不是很順利
心想一定不會事成，倒頭來就是一場空

I always learn it in a hard way.
The bad experiences told me what to do in the future.
I learn to be smart from the mistakes made previously.
What I want and how I get it, the 'things' I want which will make me happy and satisfied.
Even this, I'm still learning, learn to earn people's respect.

Ridiculous post after shit happened. I have no idea what myself is typing. I just want to write.
Hope it's a goodnight for me.
Xoxo...

Ding dong

2011-09-05T02:19:00.002+08:00

Hola! At last I logged in to update. It's been a while since I think and write! Been lifeless recently, no idea what myself doing right now. All I could think of is holiday and vacation. Oppsss.... Both means the same, ain't? Hatyai on April, Redang Island on July, Malacca on August, what else on this month? See... Holiday again! What to do, been pampering myself much, life's too short, enjoy first, worry later!

August is a pretty tough month. Struggling for what I should achieve and accomplish, hmmm... Luck still isn't with me as yet! Celebrated my birthday by spending family a pork feast, not to mention, expensive of course! Well, that's what I should do, right? Thanks papi for the facial course in return, compared to my last few months dull face, I'm kinda delighted with the result now *ignore the scars*....

Other than that, nothing much I could share.... See, lifeless isn't it? Oh right, Polo GTI is the bomb! Reasonable price, cheap road tax, high speed, body and specifications pretty awesome, most importantly, it's Volkswagen baby! *puppy eyes*! Lexus CT200H and IS250, aiming one of those too! Hot hot hot! They are so hot, so irresistible! Wait for me, I'm gonna get you soon!

*slapped* Back to reality! Signing off! Ciao! Good night!

Anticipating the new life

2011-06-23T00:33:00.000+08:00

One day an opportunity came, I hesitated at first. But then again, I should be saying why not be? Since it approached me, I shall take this chance to prove to myself. There is something we shouldn't been thinking too much. Way too ahead, chances will flow, things won't get right. I believe this is a test, to see if I could be a great leader. Still young, why not give myself a try? At least I tried, then I won't regret thereafter. Succeed or not, it doesn't matter. Life is short anyway...

Thanks God for giving me such a great opportunity! You heard my prayers. Another step nearer to realise my dream, not just dreaming of my dream.

*Seize it, make it happen!*

Good night with love. XOXO!

我的告白

2011-06-21T21:38:00.000+08:00

有一种特殊的男女關係－不止是朋友，也不是情人。

曾經有個親密好友，每天都很期待他傳來的簡訊，因為只有他的關心才能讓我感到安穩。
總覺得自己在很不如意的時侯，有人噓寒問暖，關懷和愛護，感覺很實在。
大家互相關心問候，慢慢的訴說心事，他也開始成為了我的知己。

很慶幸有如此愛護自己的人，明白我的心，當時的我也沒有把自己藏在灰暗世界，因為已經有人在聆聽著我的聲音。
天妒我幸福，拿走了他對我的關懷和愛護。他不再關心我了，對我也敷衍了事。
沮喪！失望！沒了。。。都完了！失去了這位曾經是我的知心好友。

到如今我仍然很愛他，想念他曾經陪我渡過的灰暗期，一切一切。。。
雖然不再像以前那樣，但是他永遠都會留在我心裡，不會忘了他曾對我的好！

在每個人的角落，永遠都會有段刻骨銘心的故事和特別人物。你有嗎？

stronger and better

2011-06-21T00:14:00.000+08:00

I promised, I will be stronger and better.
I promised, I will be more independent.
I promised, I will make my dreams come true.
I promised, I will be a successful woman.
I promised, I will not let myself down!

If you think you can, you sure can!

its been a while

2011-06-20T23:56:00.001+08:00

Life isn't easy as ABC. I'm feeling so weak, for all the things I have been through. Couldn't be imagined what I would turn to be. After all these bad things happened again and again, I beg for no more. Am I too greedy or just that I was taking it too seriously? I don't know... I'm lost, it feels like sailing in the sea without direction, it feels like running for never ending marathon... Though it shall be god's arrangement, to test me, to let me go through the hard way. Whatever it is, I need a slap badly! To wake me up from the comfort zone, to remind me the sinister world, to pick up the pace and compete with the better ones.

Tired of being so-called care-less person. It reminds me more, what I shall be doing instead of thinking nothing and being lifeless!

its been a while

2011-06-20T23:56:00.000+08:00

累

2010-11-15T23:36:00.001+08:00

心被伤得有够彻底
无奈已变成绝望
觉得很寂寞
心在哭泣
有人明白我的心声吗？

人生不如意的事十常八九
可是我真的受够了
失意的时候还会生病发烧
天还会跟我开玩笑

唉！
心很痛啊！

Grievances

2010-11-09T00:23:00.001+08:00

I've been working in this company for more than half a year. I thought i couldn't stay any longer than 6 months, still working for the slightly higher pay than the normal freshgrads :( A bunch of idiots from THEIR country are all so-called director level. If i were to be paid like them, mostly probably my job responsibilities will be very wide. Why are they doing nothing but just cleaning the shoes of boss? Just because they all carrying the blue passports and of course with attached expat's visa? I seriously couldn't stand for it, sooner or later, i'll be like the volcano from indonesia, ERUPTION! I'm waiting for the right time to go... God please hear my prayers and lead me to the brighter path, the right one. Fingers crossed and hope for the greater future. One day i shall hear from myself- i love my job; not everyday wake up hating the job bits by bits... Stop complaining and off to bed, back to the war zone tomorrow. Didn't i mention that my boss dislikes me to take medical leave, this is funny, who wants to fall sick?

Busy bee

2010-09-26T16:13:00.003+08:00

A lil too lifeless nowadays

Always been busy at work

Nothing but work

Easily fall asleep when i was resting on the couch

Even if stuck in the traffic jam

STRESSED!
At times i thought of giving up

As in not going to work anymore

BE QUEEN at HOME!

But to think it in the other way

I COULD BE MORE LIFELESS

I'm looking forward the trip

Long awaiting trip

Pending for so long

WISH & DREAM

OCTOBER please come!

I'm rotting already

I MISS THE HOLIDAYS I USED TO HAVE

AND I WISH TO HAVE NOW!

人为梦想而长大

2010-09-07T01:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes life isn't about money, career or relationship. I tried so hard to be the ideal person, for myself of course! Everyone has dreams and wishes, this is why we would make wishes before blowing off the candles. Surely we have dreams to drive us further in our lives, to keep on going because we believe one day, dreams will come true. I'm still going strong, with the presence of family and friends. I appreciate the guardian angels, god's blessings, loves which sprinkle around me. Me still me, even though i never show it, doesn't mean i don't care. I'm still the passionate, kind-hearted Gwen. Life is a bed of roses with spikes, i learn from time to time. I still will go through the rocky roads, obstacles ahead. I won't be as emotional as i used to be, it deviates me from being reasonable. Gwen, tougher you can think :)

我的人生目标还是有一段遥远的距离。我会为自己而加倍努力！

Speechless

2010-08-31T23:53:00.000+08:00

Let bygones be bygones.
Let it just go with the flow.
Let it be...
I'm out of the game.

Life n me

2010-08-21T10:10:00.002+08:00

Still going strong, still going on!
Several times i planned to leave.
Staying here isn't great.
Knowledge nil, experience nil.
Advise given, opinion given.
Look into a bigger picture.
See things in long run.
I stay!
Miracle does happen, i believe.

他或它？
我选择了它。
因为它才能给我幸福快乐。
因为他带给我麻烦与约束。
还是觉得它最好！

当下

2010-08-05T13:05:00.002+08:00

搞不清楚
动摇的心
忘了宗旨
舍去原则
行动不一
优柔寡断

忘了
乱了
疯了

再也不明白

不想
不盼
不要

一切顺其自然
总会有明月照亮
柳暗花明

Quick update

2010-08-04T13:25:00.001+08:00

A short trip makes you smile. A getting together session, booze and food, everything is just simply great! Relaxing and calm, cooling weather blew my vex away. Lovely isn't it?

Missing my great buddy Aaron, planted a kiss on his cheek before he left to hometown Sarawak. I just couldn't stop loving this big kid!

Life has been treating me good. Not much changes, i just wish to go for more short trips. Visiting buddy's hometown, sun bathing, eating n shopping, so many things to include in my wish list!

Birthday is just around the corner. No wonder i'm in a great mood :P Food, booze, party n pressie :X Cant wait! Spray me love as well!

Reason to cry on

2010-07-26T00:21:00.002+08:00

Single or in a relationship?
Both require guts.
Loneliness is the greatest enemy of being single.
Commitment is the most difficult task for in a relationship.
Single mingle = freedom
Boyf/girlf = trouble
Started to think like a man.
Afraid to choose and decide.
Sometimes i wish to think no more.
Why be in a relationship?
Why be single?
Why cant i skip the whole process?
Carefree and just get married?
I need more strengths and forces.
More luck and blessing.
I just want to be happy go lucky.
No more shedding tears.
No more night lonesome.
No more headache.
I just need somebody, not trouble.

Hold it till you found it

2010-07-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

When you have options, you have to choose one among all.
When you need to decide which to choose, you have to think and consider.
When you have decided, you will hesitate on it.
When you have hesitation, you will reconsider it again.
It's like a cycle, never ending story.
I don't wish to have a second thought of it.
However it's a tad annoying sometimes.

People come people go, easily fall for you, easily say goodbye.
Today you may tell me you love me, tomorrow may be a different story.
I'm not an 24/7 on-call part-timer.
I need a real serious person who loves me more than i do.
No matter how deeply i used to love or be loved, i prefer the one and only is the man who can give me happiness in all way.

Missing it

2010-07-11T12:41:00.002+08:00

甜蜜的话
动人的简讯
美丽的承诺
无微不至的照顾
温馨的拥抱
深情的吻
牺牲的付出
刻骨铭心的爱情

我想念

随着年龄的增长
思想的改变
总觉得爱情很难
许多考虑的因素
没完没了的障碍
足够让我退缩
不想有任何约束

怀念那没牵挂无忧无虑的爱

Change

2010-06-26T15:05:00.001+08:00

There's still a distance
Things that hardly achievable
Dreams that way far to realize
Who i want to be

Everyday seeing performance and luxurious cars
Looking at the people living in a fabulous life
Somebody in a well-known company

I want
I have to
I will

Life without these could be so dull
Even with the person you loved
You wanted to be somebody
Having quality time without worrying the amount of money spent
Fun and carefree

This is what i shall be

Good luck and all the best in the future undertakings!

CHANGE

笨

2010-06-22T23:58:00.001+08:00

心已经麻了

美丽的承诺
满腹抱负
一丝的希望
再也不相信了

太多失落
希望毁灭
伤口又再次洒了盐

痛
失望

无言

聪明反被聪明误

Current feeling

2010-06-21T01:03:00.000+08:00

Finally i cried
Let it all out
I crumble after so long
Suffered in silent
Fall apart in a second
Tears rolling down
Remind self life is not always full of roses
Take it or not

Testing the level of patience
Unable to foresee anything
Not knowing how to smile
Being so hopeless
Back to the grey world

Why still wait
Not being appreciated
Abandoned
Not progressive
Why still stay

Upset
Disappointed

WHEN THE TIME WILL COME
WHEN THINGS WILL GO ON MY WAY

Fcuked up
Screw YOU

杯

2010-06-13T10:02:00.001+08:00

世界杯的热潮
球迷疯狂了
连不常看球赛的人也都随着那股热而兴奋起来

大部份的人已经开始赌注了
小赌贻情嘛
赢了赌注也就可以带来欢快

我却为这股歪风而感到心酸

即将有人会因世界杯而顷家荡产
小部份的却会失去了辛苦赚回来的血汗钱

从不喜欢赌博的我也不会爱上世界杯
唉，为那些赌徒而祈祷吧！

Run gwen run

2010-06-12T09:36:00.002+08:00

It's just another weekend! Had a great sleep but awake early. Supposedly i should have slept more, however my brain and body alarmed me =.= WTF!!!

Weekend- mind, body and soul's off day! They hunger for relaxation. I should be in somewhere else enjoying my holidays, why am i still stuck here? I need an escapade!

The vex, agitated, hatred feeling had over... Ignored, abandoned, isolated- i accept it and get used to it! What else? All i need is a weekend getaway! The whole of me urge for vacation!

I want to go away from this place! I need to leave this land that will drive me nuts soon...

加油！

2010-06-09T00:35:00.002+08:00

开始放开了，再也不执着自己的那一套。
当环境所逼，再加上失控的情绪，没完没了的事务，自然而然地会有所改变了。
长大了吗？学会了机灵变动吗？还得多多学习社会的人情事故，你挣我夺的丑态。
向自己跨越了这绊脚石而乾杯！前面的路途还很遥远，再为自己而加油吧！
错误的选择，会更加想要祢补。知道了不可能改变的事实，唯有加把劲去面对和应付吧！
人生还是充满着希望，等待着伯乐的提拔！

Mama, i love u

2010-05-17T22:15:00.004+08:00

As usual, the Pan Family celebrated every year mother's day.

Dinner @ Ah Yat's

The couple

Bird nest's egg tart

Snow jelly dessert

abalone, sea cucumber & mushroom

Sharkfin's soup

Family portrait

With their princesses :P

The lovely couple

LOVE you as always

XOXO

Sunshine

2010-05-05T23:23:00.003+08:00

*ignore my eye bags*

Good morning sunshine!

Always remind myself, no matter what and how,

there'll be someone guarding me.

Whoever tries to eliminate me, a good try i should say.

I'll stay tough just as always!

ups n downs

2010-05-02T23:54:00.003+08:00

is it wrong to be emotional?

is it wrong to have moment to recall?

is it wrong to be spoilt just a while?

is it wrong to speak out?

is it wrong to let the feeling out?

do i deserve a better future?

do i have a choice?

this is not about the discontentment,

to nag or to blame,

i just need to let it all out before volcano blows up.

i'm only a human,

not a superwoman.

I'm a slave for U

2010-04-26T00:42:00.002+08:00

Starting to have the Monday Blue, Tuesday Maniac, Wednesday Hype, Thursday Vex and Friday Lazy... All i think about will be weekend and vacation! Begin hating my mobile phone on weekdays, emotional in the early morning, feel torturing not to fall sick easily :( The crucial one- start eating promptly everyday and this leads to the growing of body!

Life sounds so horrible and scary... Hardly imagine how could it turn to?! Already in the stage of spending self-earned money, crying for every single cent spent, less self-pampered moment. How awful! Meeting deadlines, expectation, performance... Where's the liberty? Seeing hypocrites, encountering shits, handling grievances... F those!!!

No life! Just a Slave of Money...

识时务为俊杰，知进退为英雄

2010-04-06T22:59:00.004+08:00

the acme of perfection is beyond human reach.

many things are far from satisfaction, your desires shall not be fulfilled.

often say, if there is a will, be always a way...

somehow when the right moment hasn't arrived, you would still need to wait patiently.

in that period of time, it could be so vexatious and might give up everything.

advises given:

adapt yourself to prevailing circumstances, ride along the tide of changing times, your talent and ability will be widely appreciated soon.

when life gives you lemon, make lemonade.

what else?

the need is only CHANCE!

nothing but chance.

this is another stage of life, just a dilemma moment.

for you to consider, for you to make decision for the path you take.

be hopeful, life still goes on!

keep the faith...

*fingers crossed*

The Breadwinner

2010-03-22T23:03:00.002+08:00

even a tough man will fall one day. never thought this will happen to him, never expected this. everyday seeing him as a very healthy man, goes for his evening jog after work, control his diet and all... sometimes he would still nag his children about this and that. we may not listen to what he said, as the words turn to be irritating, poking the eardrums. the worst is, we may just ignore him for instance. today, shit happened! now only we realized how unfilial children we used to be, how harsh we treated him, how disrespectful we were! how dare we could claim his as petty old man, stingy person in the world and so... just for the reason of not buying things we want to have?! gosh, this is so ridiculous when we really think it wisely for what words which came out from our bloody mouth. the day will come and if we don't cherish and treasure the moment we still have with him, forever we will feel regretful. one day we may never have the chance to even hear his voice or see him again, do what we should do before everything is too late.

i'm sorry for whatever it is... and i love you dad!

没那么容易

2010-03-16T01:44:00.003+08:00

经过了这一番教训之后，我再也不敢相信这世界上有谁愿意为谁而付出的人。因为你永远都不知道那个人几时会转胎，由其是那些小气的人，报复心重的人，看不开的人或者是醋坛子！我已经深深体会到了，那个人也应该感到很痛快我所得到的下场。唉，算了！就当作我没带眼识人，就当作我做人天真，相信错人。还是靠自己比较好，因为天下本来就没有免费的午餐！说什么爱情、友情或者是亲情，通通都是互利互害的！我恨，我痛恨一切都来得太快，我吃不消，完全是一场恶梦！

算了吧！就当作是一场经验吧，人生也有高峰低落的时候，就勇敢的去面对吧！有个人告诉我，人生总有潮起潮落，跌进了谷底，才知道在山上的美，最重要还是能有勇气的爬出来。我领悟了，我会加把劲，使出我的浑身解术，我必要得到我想要的未来。

2010-03-16T01:44:00.001+08:00

In love with you

2010-03-05T02:45:00.001+08:00

Been drinking stout lately, to be honest, already addicted to it. This magic black liquid, me loving it! Leaving me the chinese herbs aroma, it really kicks my taste buds. Surprisingly, don't find it bitter :)

Thanks to my elder brother for advising me, thanks to Lovely Patsy Sis for getting me addicted to it!

Tried several places for Guinness and Connors draught, i still prefer Guinness... So yummy! *Raise your glass and say: To Arthur's* Call me a beer lady- i just love to drink beer than any other alcohols.

Where to find stout draught near my area?
- HIDE
- Berlin Biergarten
- Laundry
- Library
- Brussels Beer Garden

Will further explore more cool places for tastier stout draught :)

p/s: Ain't heavy drinker, just love getting a lil tipsy, easier for an insomnia person like me to fall asleep.

星星知我心

2010-03-01T03:32:00.000+08:00

千言万语说不尽
心事谁能知

总该知道人比人气死人这句话
支持我，没有
包容我，没有
了解我，没有
难道我就是那么没用

该明白我是个怎样的人
我也要有出人头地的一天
容许你给我一点时间
我会做到你要的

The scenic Guilin

2010-02-22T21:50:00.001+08:00

名副其实的桂林之旅游山玩水记

~love the chilly weather
~love the air
~love the scenery
~love the history
~love the price

~hate the food
~hate the WC
~hate the long journey
~hate the road condition
~hate the coach

V for Valentine

2010-02-14T06:01:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the surprise :)
The cute pink piggy is worth for thousand smiles and i just cant stop thinking about the photo which unable to view due to the corrupted image. It must be your pig head. Happy V's day and happy chinese new year to you!

mine.mind

2010-02-13T00:35:00.007+08:00

Thinking of places to go for sweet escape

Need a getaway

Start from the nearest

Singapore?

For bags hunting

Krabi?

For the beautiful beaches

Bali?

For the romantic sunset dinner

How i wish you were here

With your presence

Everything seems so perfect

There will be no problems

At least it can be solved easily

You can keep people's mouth shut

No issues raised

Beg and pray

You please come to me

Had an awful day

Experienced the worst feeling ever

Because everything little thing involved you

And had to face the music again

Such a problem maker

But you are so important to me

Can't even live without you

Confused?

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Valentine's Day

I love you

Another random post

Insane state of mind

Tattoo-ing the memory

2010-01-31T16:16:00.002+08:00

thinking of getting a tattoo but worried too.. Afraid of pain and regret.. This could be forever.

Close the January chapter

2010-01-30T01:43:00.001+08:00

If without noticing the date on my computer screen just now, i wouldn't know today is already 30th January. Time flies... Middle of the month i had my final exam for my degree's last sem n end of the month i had my japanese language beginner 1 exam. No more exams for me, not till my beginner 2 exam for the next 3 months. This is worth for celebration! Yay ^^v

Congratulations to my friends who soon gonna be engaged, to friends who got into their new relationships, to friends who soon gonna be parents... I could say other than the exam period, a blissful month i had. I was busy working part time, the long working hour is indeed crazy but i was well-treated. This i couldn't deny.. Lol! Food and Beer after work is definitely great! Couldn't resist looking for my bf Mr. Hoe everytime i finished work. Found a new spot of drinking cheap Hoegaarden- De Solvang @ Solaris Mont Kiara. Love the ambience, love the price! :)

Moo moo year is gonna end soon, roar roar year is just around the corner. Its my year baby! Its my time to shine like a star, like a sparkling diamond! Although i'm worried about my future, guess i should put it aside first because i'm in festive mood. Gong hei fatt choi baby! Its ang pau and travel time! I miss taking flight with family, i miss spending quality time with them, i miss travelling with them, most importantly, i don't need to pay a single cent for it. XD

To whom may concern,
God will bless you for the hardwork and effort you put into, i'll pray for you too. Your dreams shall be realised, your wishes will be granted. Don't tense up yourself. Health comes first!

To whom may concern,
I'm glad that you move on and have your new life. Finally everything has come to an end. No more disputes, thats the greatest thing! Bless you and your significant 1.

To whom may concern,
Darl buddy, you know that i miss you and your tummy so much. Please come back with the disco ball. Heart you!

Love the people around me. Love the life i have. Love the dreams i live for.

2010-01-22T07:04:00.001+08:00

A. A person who can provide u nothing but love

B. A person who can afford to pay for what u wanted to buy, but doesn't really love u

C. A person who can provide u unlimited love and bear your expenses

D. A person who loves u and effort made was after the relationship ended

E. A person who u love him/her more than he/she does

F. A person who loves u but u don't really love him/her

Many possibilities if i were to list down... No matter how, i appreciate those people who give me the meaning of life. Without them, my life will be dull. It could be colourless, there would not be moment to capture. I could be a nobody in this LOVE WORLD!

Love or not?

美丽的误会

2010-01-04T20:22:00.011+08:00

我从来都没有欺骗过你，也没有给过你任何虚假的希望。只是你一直以来都觉得我在给你错觉，让你有假象，更觉得我会等你。其实你根本都不明白我所要表达的意思，还直言说我一直都在说谎，答应你的一切都是假的。

也许当下的我曾说过一番很感性的话，让你有所误会，更认为我们之间还有希望。难道你分不清什么是承诺的话，什么是完整一句美丽的话吗？当下的我也可能因感觉，在很浪漫的环境底下所说的话，你就把它当成是一种承诺，那我根本就没有说过那番话是对你许下的诺言，我岂不是你现在所谓的说话者，大话精？没有人会知道明天的你还会活在这个世界上，我也不是要预测什么，我根本就给不到任何人任何保障与诺言，难道我还会答应你这些这样重要的事情吗？

你也许会认为我在推翻你对我的想法和观念，也可能觉得我很强词夺理，难道我说得这么明显，你还不了解吗？我不会要你为了我而做任何东西，就算是在读书方面或者是工作上。你只要做给你自己看，证明给自己就好，而不是给任何人，因为人活着就是为了自己，跨越自己，让自己更自重，而不是为了别人才做出任何生活上的改变。因为为了别人才让自己更进步，我会觉得你在你人生当中所要达到的目标也未免太过简单了？

你曾说过，你清楚明白我们不会复合，你也只是会当我是个朋友而对待，今天的你反而又问起了我会不会等你，我真的搞不懂，你说的话也蛮自相矛盾，我还以为你已经想通了，也不会在钻牛角尖了，可是。。。我真的为了这件事而烦恼了起来，不知道要怎样去解释说明，你才能了解我所要告诉你的一切。

别再那么的固执主观，可以吗？听一下别人的解释，听一下别人的见解，可以吗？改变下自己的观念，想法和看法，可以吗？我并没有欺骗过你，我不是情场杀手，我没玩弄过你的感情。可不可以从另一个角度尝试去对待了解整件事吗？

我真的不想再为了这件事而争论了，也请你把感情的事摆在一旁。我希望大家还可以做回朋友，因为有缘才能相识，我不想失去多一个朋友。

jingle bells

2009-12-21T01:48:00.004+08:00

it has almost come to the end of December baby! one of my favorite festive season is approaching :) although i'm not a Christian, but i still love celebrating X'mas! i remember when i was still a little girl, daddy asked me to put my small tiny socks beside my bed so that Santa will stuff the socks with presents. the next day i woke up, i would have Barbie doll sleeping beside me... how nice! X'mas reminds me of my childhood memories! loving it! last Friday was the pre-celebration with my fellow chicks, we had our gifts exchange session, we hit to the nearest club after that. it was indeed another awesome night with my babes. X'mas brings me joy and laughter, it gathers all my party partners, it gives us fun! and yes, i love my gift *heart*

what's my X'mas wish list?

1. a new fragrance for myself as i love people saying this to me... "Hmmm... you definitely smell good!" Dior J"adore L'absolu is my choice!

2. a DSLR camera as i recently get into the mood of taking photos ;P Nikon D3000 is good for amateur, i suppose?!

3. a Singapore trip as i wanted badly to see the lightings and decor in the Lion city, at least please let me go for a short vacation to unwind myself =.=

so now, who wants to be the Santa?

lOveydOvey

2009-12-07T01:31:00.004+08:00

love is in the air... can you feel it? its a month of marriage i should say :) i just love attending wedding dinner, you know i know we don't need to know. LOL. the laughter, the joy, the happiness, the sincerity, the trueheartedness... just enjoying the time to have some reunion with the big family, fellow friends and all! somehow i wonder when would it be my turn, it shall be years after; how would it be, it shall be FUN!!! okay, stop dreaming girl! *slap*

love me, love me not... in fact i understand that I'm quite a loser in a relationship though people see me having several guys around me in these few years. people often asked, "why is it the different guy again? when can you settle down with the right one and inform the world that you already got the love of your life?" you know its tough, you got to find the one who could fulfill your own requirements as well as your parents'. i think highly of my family, they are my everything. i know they always have their own reasons to be strict to me, or to have expectations on me. as for myself, that will be for you guys to discover :)

to dream or not to be? dreams are always way far to realize, but if i don't dream, life shall be no more hopes, there will be meaningless. then why should i still live in this world? i dream for someone who loves me more than i do, cares about the every little thing of mine, treats me like a princess, prioritize me, understands me well... that will be the minimum requirements of mine, but i suppose every girls thought so too. i don't really go for the good looking one, as you all know, the handsome one always flirtatious... i prefer the well-behaved one, like people said, honesty is the best policy :) and I've been deeply wounded in the past, still recovering from the hurt, I'd want to have my partner to be frank to me, not hiding the truths which maybe one day find out. that could be ugly!

love is... for your own self to define it!

i love you GWEN!

Persistence

2009-12-04T12:41:00.006+08:00

December has just begun. My mood swings due to the weather changed.I'm still in low spirits for everything. Nothing i'm looking forward to. What i want is VACATION! Though people think that i'm always in holiday mood. How i wish i could enjoy without having hesitation, without fear, without worries. There's always something that would hold me back.

Split hair!

Life isn't as smooth as you think it is, it'll never be as easy as u think it is.No matter how many liters of alcohol u consume, it won't blow away your problems u faced. The next day you wake up, the same old problems still exist, the newer one occurs. I don't want to be a bad girl who you think i am. The alcoholic, the party animal, the money sucker.

Low esteem!

I wish to smile from my heart.

I want CHEERFUL & BUBBLY back to my life.

I should have stopped moaning and bitching about my life.

But this is the only place i could let it all out.

I don't want to curl back into my loneliness.

I'm afraid.

I'm grieved.

I'm restless.

I need refuge.

朋友

2009-11-29T19:10:00.002+08:00

感谢您对我的关怀
感谢您对我的照顾
感谢您对我的付出
感谢您对我的帮助

当你已经决心要放弃我们这段友情
我也很无奈也无言了
因为我总觉得多个朋友好过多个敌人
况且认识一个人也要讲求缘分
上天安排我们相识
我相信它也不想我们结束这段友情
可惜，真的可惜
有什么办法呢
勉强再延续一段你认为没有可能再能维持的友情
也不会得到真正的快乐

在此祝你幸福快乐吧
我会把你当永远的朋友
为你的未来加油吧！

Sound of life

2009-11-29T08:02:00.002+08:00

Could you hear the heart beat?

Could you hear someone's talking?

Could you hear the music playing?

Could you hear the voice of GOD?

Could you?

I whisper to myself

YES I DO

My heart is talking to me.

It knows the best.

Always follow it.

It will lead you in the right direction.

I ♥ I

句点

2009-11-20T14:31:00.001+08:00

当双方已知道问题的存在
然而并没有尝试去做任何更改
因为每个人有那一丝的私心
已经习惯了一个人的生活
也没有心理准备要承担义务
如果突然间有个人在你的人生中出现了
这确实是一件比较难以接受的事
并且难以适应的
既然是无法改变自己的生活习惯
也无法真心真意的去关心另一个人
那么就把这段情份来个了断吧
免得做个自私的人
白费了人家对你的情意
浪费人家的时间与青春
也了解什么是岁月不留人
放手也是对人家的痛苦来个解脱
好让人家可以转移视线
接受新事务新的一个更爱他/她的人

nOvember rain

2009-11-17T17:18:00.000+08:00

do you still remember what u did yesterday?

do you still remember how to miss a person?

do you still remember what is love?

do you still remember the happy moments you used to have with someone dear?

do you still remember the people who care for you and give you unlimited support whenever you needed?

do you still remember how to embrace life?

do you?

looking for a reason to believe, searching for a reason to love...

i forgot how to love a person, 'cos i found out that i love myself more.

love myself is also a kind of love, it just sounds a little selfish.

perhaps i need a little more time to be in love again.

it's the raining season to make me feel this way... =)

Guns N' Roses - November rain

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

ignoreMYrandomness!!!

2009-11-15T17:45:00.000+08:00

The break up disease is contagious, do you agree? I tend to hear people around telling me about who breaking up or having fight with girlfriend/boyfriend... why? I'm also one of them, i wonder if they experienced the same situation like mine. There is no right or wrong in a relationship. As we already know, LOVE is blind. One is willing to be scolded, and the other one who will be doing the scolding. People see me as an autocratic girlfriend, needs freedom more than everything, selfish... bla bla bla... in short, I'm a bad girlfriend! But who knows the truth?

One day, i met my EX when i was chilling with my buddies at Laundry Bar. His presence reminds me about the past. I asked myself, was it my fault to put a fullstops in that relationship? Not saying that i still have feeling towards him but i feel bad after knowing him has changed drastically from a nice and sweet person to a guy who i can't even accept. But i don't think i could bring him such great influence :) God bless him!

When it comes to relationship, I'm not perfect, I'm not flawless. The crazy things I've done, the sins, let me be the one who clean them bits by bits... So i suppose I'm still alone now. I think myself still not suitable to go into a relationship, or i could say, i need a better man. I don't want to be so eager for a new person steps into my life although i do hope for people who care for me, pamper me, treat me like a princess :) Yet again, I'm not desperate. HEEEeeeee... :D

Right now, I'm happy with my life. I've my lovely wife, my mistress, my buddies, my SS Club members, my god brothers, my helpers, my crazy friends, my FAMILY! Basically, I'm contented! They provide me the endless LOVE, they give me strength, they are the best! I'll always remember whoever treats me well, I'll make sure they receive double or more from me! Thanks for being with me :)

Well, its just another random post, I'm just being so spontaneous in a boring Sunday...

p/s : thanks my buddy Aaron for editing this picture... i just love the vintage feel! *heart it*

getOVERityoungPEOPLE

2009-11-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

What had happened recently?

People is backstabbing me, spreading rumors about me.

Whatever i've done previously, under the influence of ALCOHOL, i admit that i did wrong.

I thought it'd be the END for quite some times.

However, SOMEONE is still trying to mention the MISTAKE i made for SOME unexplainable REASONS.

In fact, i was trying to find out WHO is the PRODUCER, SCRIPT WRITER, DIRECTOR as well as the ACTOR!

A great job i shall say to that PERSON.

Obviously, he/she still couldn't get over me.

Trying to REVENGE?

C'mon young adult, think wisely before hand.

I won't get agitated over this matter, i'll only SYMPATHIZE you for being so.

Because you still care, that's why you did it!

Still, i should give you a piece of shit advise.

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE!

There are many things you can do other than being a jerk.

Go climb your ladder of career, go concern about your family, go catch up with others' pace.

STOP HOVERING.

Get loose

2009-10-27T00:52:00.000+08:00

As the Chinese proverbs - Sometimes we're taking unnecessary pains to study an insoluble problem or in short, split hairs! Things can be so simple, don't take it too complicated. If we can do it this way, life would be so beautiful with lots of smile. If we're aware of it, don't just say it but mean it! Life's short, live it in a better way, but not sorrow, hatred or miserable. Live smart and in good spirit!

Take the negative feedbacks as a driving force to improve yourself. Let the past be the past, our eyes are meant to place in front for us to look forward. Bad experience we had, just let it be. Those will never haunt us again, future undertakings are more significant. Take good advises, ignore the bad ones. Ultimately, know how to differentiate the devils and angels.

Once again i'd say, IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

2009-10-20T23:18:00.000+08:00

Time is what i required.

Patience is virtue.

Observe what will happen next.

Picking up the signals first.

Sort things out later.

No matter people blow hot and cold, just ignore it.

All i can do is follow my intuition.

Next stage of life

2009-10-09T16:26:00.000+08:00

"Life's short, live life to the fullest" - I know this quote is true but sometimes enjoying your life to the max is not good.

Partying too much recently, turn to be alcohol addict, supper queen, eating hell much as if i was like famished ghost... I need a change, change my unhealthy lifestyle, that's for sure! Often say, upgrade myself- never want to be the ordinary one, never want to be like them (as in partying non stop). CHANGE!!!

I believe in you Gwen!

2009-10-04T02:54:00.000+08:00

I'm suffering serious tremor nowadays. My fingers and hands are shaking terribly. Perhaps the stress and tiredness i experienced recently cause me so... Never forget to mention about the alcohol i took for these past few months. Suspected Thyroid disorders symptoms as mom said or what another friend of mine told me- problem with the rhythm of heartbeat. I've no idea... both sound scary to me. It definitely swings my mood. I'm worried... What if bad things happened to me? What if it really happened? What should I do?

Going for full body check up soon... bless me for the results that i wished for! Till then i'll update again. Night with lotsa love *hugs*

Raya Getaway

2009-09-24T00:58:00.001+08:00

A short break is definitely great after receiving bad news from college. The feeling is indescribable, all i can tell is - I'm seriously exhausted for all these shits! I love my holidays, it was basically an eating journey and never forgot to mention about the drinking session... :) I was so drop dead tired and i gained a lot of weight. I've been growing horizontally, afraid of measuring my weight. A friend of mine passed me the HK drama series and those DVDs really can kill my boring time. Thanks my friend for being so kind ;) Birthday celebrations for Matthew and Iven in this month- meaning to say that i spent money again for pressie and liquor. GOSH!!!

I swore not to be so emotional but sadly, i'm still learning how to be... Need to meditate myself, stop myself from thinking too much. Can anyone teach me?! *sigh* I hate myself for being so, i need to cut all craps! Stay tough Gwen Babe!

I miss you! And for sure you know who is the one =P *XOXO*

Question that has been routinized

2009-09-11T09:20:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me, "What you do for living?". Well, my answer will be definitely the same that I've been telling people for years, "I'm still a student". Why the elderly people so keen to ask me this question? Am i too old to be a student? Or through the conversations i had with them, they thought me as a working adult? How i wish i can forever be a student, daddy's girl... i love my life not to be tied down with the odd working schedule, I'm afraid of the heavy workload, busy all the time. Till then, i won't able to see my family and friends as often, chill out with them whenever i can... Will miss that kinda life, that's for sure! But sadly, i need to grow up, couldn't stay under the protection of family. Gwen, Accept the fact please!!!

Time Capsule

2009-09-04T02:05:00.000+08:00

With a blink of eye, everything has changed. Life has been back to the basic, the very simple one! Tried to recall what had happened in the past, it was beautiful. It's the moment to embrace my life... Family is my everything, Friends are there for me, always be! Love is there to exist! What can i ask for more? It's never be so contented to have nice things surrounding me... It's no longer a time for me to stay unhappy already, cheer up shall be the note to myself. Smile for the incomings, predict it, prepare myself for the future undertakings! The party marathon has over, the steps towards real life society is about to come... Fearless, bring out the courage! Tomorrow will be another great day!

August, i declare the month of freedom!

2009-08-24T06:04:00.001+08:00

What should i say about my summer break? If you're saying i didn't really enjoy much during this semester break, urm... although it's kinda overwhelmed sometimes, but i did enjoy it! I didn't expect myself to work during this break but i did... Mom forced me to work because she couldn't stand me slacking at home all the time or if i hang out with my friends. Well, it's also sorta true as i tend to spend more than usual... Never mentioned about what i bought, where i spent... I'm still working hard to repay the debts! I'm a pauper now! Gosh!

Where should i start off with? It's been a while since i update my blog, I've been struggling with time ever since i started working as a part time in DKNY Gardens. Thanks to my bestie Paco who recommended me to her manager and i know i still owe him a lunch! Look, spending money again after earning it... This is why i will be working still when i started my new semester. Money constraint all the time! I didn't want to stretch out my palm to Daddy just to ask for extra $. There are also pros after i worked other than the only cons i can think of is the time constraint. LOL! I know new friends whereby they are all my lovely colleagues, they are absolutely nice to me! Meanwhile, i realised that even though it's recession, but the ladies still can spend like as if there's no tomorrow. Clearly shown that the ladies indeedly can spend without thinking! Furthermore, i get to see the high society people =)

My birthday celebration for this year was a blast! Credit to all my friends who made it happen! Mommy checked the photos via Facebook, she said:" You guys really party like crazy!" LOL! Sadly my babe Darling J couldn't make it, or else i think it might be a better scene =P Never forget Mr. Dino who brought me delicious food as he knew i love craving food... Thousand of appreciation i could say for countless time. This year birthday is certainly worth to keep as a pleasant memory for life =) I did receive pressie from my buddies... Aww, so sweet of them! Not much detail i can elaborate, pictures talk! Check out my Facebook album =) August, i love you! *xoxo*

This coming friday will be Mr. DC's big day! Finally he and his wife will be officially tying the knot with the chinese tradition. It should be fun to attend! This is why i'm anticipating 29th August 2009! ;) Hope i can make myself available for that day... I couldn't afford to miss this golden opportunity to experience this! Stay tune once again! LOL!

Off to bed again... Morning anyway! Muaxx!

A fine meal everytime!

2009-07-19T23:42:00.001+08:00

Craving for food all the time!

Attendee : Dad, Gigi, Shaun & Me =)

Venue : Bel Pasto Italian Restaurant

Starters : Mushroom soup x4

Main course : Spaghetti & Pizza Bel Pasto, Chicken Lasagna

Desserts : Tiramisu & Butter cake

Feedback : Tastier than Italiannies

Bel Pasto

Butter cake with vanila ice cream & choc toppings

Tiramisu *on the house* & younger brother promoting his hp

*spot the crab*

Spaghetti Bel Pasto *yum*

Chicken Lasagne *sis & bro all time fav*

Pizza Bel Pasto *licking good*

Mushroom soup *fresh button & oyster mushrooms*

The confession of a shopaholic

2009-07-18T11:43:00.000+08:00

Shopping is always a best medicine for all the ladies. Do you agree?

I don't know about you, but definitely is mine!

Every ladies are gifted with the gene - Shopaholic =)

Although you spend like as if you are the millionaire but you'll get the satisfaction during shopping.

You try on the new clothes, you feel yourself pretty on it - satisfied!

When you purchase it, you feel excited as you are going to have new clothes in your wardrobe - satisfied!

You don't need to worry about what to wear for the next outing with your babes or friends - satisfied!

But sadly when come to billing, at that moment, you feel like dying because you are going to be drop dead broke after clearing the credit card bills - OMFG!

...

A shopping spree began on a wonderful Thursday.

Telawi Streets at Bangsar!

My new hot BFF Joyce and I decided to go there for some new affordable clothes to enhance the variety of clothes in our wardrobe. =P

Had our lunch at Sakae Sushi at Bangsar Village II before we have the energy to burn walking up and down on the stairs.

We shopped for 5 hours, not even have the time to 'camwhore'...

A 15minutes break at McD just to rejuvenate our self, and again continued our shopping journey.

Can you imagine yourself at Milan, going in and out from all the designers' boutiques, of cause with our war trophies - shopping bags!

Plenty of paper bags we both had. =)

The last stop was the killing one with all the designers' clothing, shoes and acessories.

"OMG, that Christian Dior stiletto heel is nice! Look at this BEBE top, it absolutely looks sexy on you! Geez, i'm gonna get this top for my BF, it's Gianfranco Ferre! This Chanel earrings is pretty exclusive. Hey you babe, never ask me to go shopping next time!"

Hell ya, spend before earn. How satirize!

...

How am I going to survive for the next 5 weeks after spending so much?!

God!

A toast, a celebration

2009-07-17T11:33:00.000+08:00

The journey of my mid term break has begun.

Savouring delicious food will the usual activity to do.

So decided to go for a cozy restaurant serving comtemporary Siam & Burmese cuisine. Tamarind Hill is our selection of the day.

** Some photos unable to recover, but no worries, there's always another time! =) *heart*

辛酸的交响曲

2009-07-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

好景不长在好花不长开

深深的体会到这种感觉

终于要在美梦中醒了

原来憧憬的与现实的根本就是天渊之别

苦苦的强求也得不到任何的回报

只有强烈的反对与虚伪的祝福

即使用尽所有的力量去维护

事情也只是越潦越黑

开始哭累了也不再去想了

原来一切只不过是如此而已

事实也不能因这样而改变

如果时间能够倒退

希望遇见你时是彼此都想要得结果

Tears of joy

2009-07-02T19:23:00.000+08:00

Have you ever teared because of someone close to you is walking down the aisle soon? I don't even expect this will happen so fast and it's totally beyond my expectation. Whoa! Met with Mr. DC at KLCC soon after I finished my class today. Before seeing him, I was wondering that what myself is going to say first when I see him? Speechless! I had an awkward feeling somehow since the day I heard the news from my gang. It's unbelievable! And this feeling has been bothering me for few days. Mr. DC was looking not-so-excited somehow, I mean i can see that thru his faceless expression. He looked a tad restless, and i think he has not been sleeping well recently. Hmmm... And i hardly can say 'Congratulation'... Well i know, it should be a great news, but sadly, I'm still trying my best to accept the fact that my close friend is getting married. This is a stage of life whereby Marriage is just like proceeding to the next level. Marriage is about the process. It lies under more commitments and burdens, but it is supported by the strengths of love. I truly bless Mr. DC that he'll have a wonderful life ahead with his new family... Now, I'm looking forward to see the most touching scene ever for this year 2009 when He says, "I do"... Stay tune peep!

A marriage is not a 50/50 compromise. It takes both husband and wife giving 100/100.

Lifeless

2009-06-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking too much recently. I can feel the emptiness, sorrow, gloomy, frustration... whatever i can say it... I understand that human sometimes have such mixed feeling whereby you don't feel good at all no matter what sorta things you do to make yourself feel a little better =( Assignments keep coming in, assessments almost every single class, endless chores, insufficient of money, friendship or family issue, worrying about the future and wondering if myself had chosen the correct path... I seriously have no idea of what am i thinking right now. It's kinda too diversified. The words WHAT IF are stuck in my head... The feeling of hesitation is what I'm having at this moment. People around me may think that I'm so complicated, not so approachable or paranoia perhaps... But, do they ever make the attempt of knowing me better? Apparently, I'm just having a little emotional time.

I wonder, is being ignorance will make my life better? But contradictory, i think it's so shallow-minded. I've been wounded deeply in the past, couldn't blame myself from thinking too much somehow. Just a deep thinker afterall. Apparently, I need somebody to understand how i feel, and of cause giving me some emotional support.

What is the meaning of life?

Life is...

Do not be afraid of life. Nothing is to be feared of... is only to be understood!!!

Happy Papa's Day

2009-06-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

The Father's day

We had our dinner at Ah Yat Abalone Forum Restaurant

A short Cammy session before & during dinner

Shaun & Daim

Papa & Mama

The Abalone

Gigi & Shaun

Posing at the Winter Bar, Quattro

Gigi & Gwen

Shaun is tryin' to flirt Gigi

Promoting the restaurant?!

We ♥ food

We ♥ DAD

Dad, i know I've been a little naughty, pissing you off quite a number of times... but you know i always love you and i really do. Forgive me for the wrong things that I've done to myself and those which hurt you deeply. Happy Father's day! XOXO

Words for the day

2009-06-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!!!

May God be with you

2009-06-03T17:49:00.000+08:00

You know what's the best, I'll support you for any decision made.

Just bear in mind, think wisely before hand.

Worry less when you're with me, as I'll try my best to ease your pain, take away the vexation you faced.

Think no more when you've made up your mind, go ahead to do what you think it's right.

I'll never walk away from you no matter what, or how worse the situation can be.

Girl with dreams

2009-05-22T16:59:00.000+08:00

Do you dream?

Always!

I live to dream. Dreams are part of my goals to accomplish. I need to dream to keep me going. Dreams give me hope. Whatever i dream about, as long as i think isn't unrealistic, should be fine =) Being realistic? Yes, i am... I never dream to live in a castle or to be a princess. So i think it's reasonable. Life would be dull or miserable if you never dream, ain't? Dream can be so beautiful... It motivates you, it tells you to be more hardworking so that your dream can be realized someday.

What i'm trying to say is... people do dream!!! Its just the matter of you dream big or small. I tend to dream big although it's far to realize. Reaching my goals is important to me, and i don't wish getting sidetracked. This is me, the girl with BIG dreams ;) What dreams am i talking about? FUTURE!!! Not PHUTURE... >.<

Never want to share about MY DREAMS though =P

So people, sleep early tonight and start to have a nice sweet dream ;P

When you are low with nowhere to go, remember this, when you open your eyes, your heart, your spirit, yourself, there you will find the stranger called hope!

Spontaneous

2009-05-20T20:58:00.000+08:00

I wonder how a person feels when he/she misses someone badly.

For me, i feel awkward.

The feeling is hard to tell.

I can never explain it by words. More than words i can say.

Missing someone can be so sweet and concurrently, can be so suffering.

Want a person so badly to be by my side.

Sadly, constraints to concern. =(

The every moment i spent is precious, priceless.

My heart is skipping

My mind is wandering

all i can think of is

"When can i see you again?"

I miss you so badly

Welcoming the new me...

2009-05-19T18:13:00.000+08:00

Few weeks back, i was caught red handed of being a rebellious girl. I disappointed my parents as they really put a high expectation on me. Their smart daughter is gone, left only the frustration... I punished myself, i left myself grounded. This isn't their decision though, but i think i deserve it.

Its actually a good time for me to rejuvenate my soul. Plenty of activities had been going on for quite a long period of time. No doubt, its kind of overwhelmed, restless and muddled. Staying at home, reading books, flipping thru magazines, being couch potato, net-surfing, facebook-ing, swimming and jogging... Basically, that's how i burnt my time during this 1 week break. Oh, never forget to mention about watching movies in cinema.

I made myself a to-do-list:

To curb one of my bad habits- being EMOTIONAL >.<
Be more health conscious- controlling my diets and doing workouts
To cut down the outings- save money for trips =P
To build a better relationship with family
To be more understanding

And the list goes on...

Isn't it a healthier life? Although friends around me might think this as a drastic change, but i thought it'll be good somehow. =) Not so good to always project such image to people as a wild party animal, crazy playful young girl or whatever they can think of. I do need good impression for my better future. To be honest, i miss those great old days... *resminisce*

Soon... the real Gwen will be back again! ;P Fellas, wait for me! >.<

He is not the one for me...

2009-05-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

Me being silly again...

I wasn't thinking straight at that point, i sent him a text.

"I told myself that the time will come when i'll stop loving you and the distance we have, i'll forget you. But then i realize that since you left, time had stopped and distance had no measure."

In fact i know that he actually found a new girl. I've tried my best to gather his updated news as many as possible. I want him to be happy, nothing more.

All the best to you Mr. B, find your happiness and i'll find mine too =)